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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

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Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

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I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

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The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

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Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

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Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

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If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

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There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

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When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

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Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

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'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible', she said, 'but that alone doesn't make it true.'

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

Basically, I no longer work for anything but the sensation I have while working.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

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I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

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When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

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When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

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Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

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Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

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In this war – as in others – I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.

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If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

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Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

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USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

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Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.

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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.

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Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.

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Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

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Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

War doesn't make boys men, it makes men dead.

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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

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Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

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One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

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Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

Lohr's Law: The future is merely the past with a twist — and better tools.

When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

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I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

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Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

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A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.

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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

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Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact that life's one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers.

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Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.

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Everything that can be invented has been invented.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

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Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

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Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

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Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

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Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

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It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

In a few situations, it is possible to cure problems.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

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We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

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I just read in a weblog remark that the Spanish and Portuguese are considered Latina, is this true? I always considered Latina specific to the Americas and also their ancestry of recent (past half millennium) mixed ethic background. Am I wrong or are the Spanish/Portuguese now considered part of the Latina diaspora?

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

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I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.

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DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

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I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

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The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

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Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

So, Out of sight, out of mind.

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The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad.

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I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

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... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

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Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

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It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

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I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.

I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.

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Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

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Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

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I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

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Humor is just another defense against the universe.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

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It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

have no such troubles yet this is what you're trying to do with.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

When I am dead, I hope it may be said: 'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

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The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

A good beginning makes a good ending

Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

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The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

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The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

I don't even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

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You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

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There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

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An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

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I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they're yours.

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

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The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

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You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

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One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.

Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.

Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Hello!

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Why don't you write books people can read?

Why don't you write books people can read?

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

I believe your weblog is nice! I found it on Bing today. I believe I will come back on day, thank you.

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.

Write a wise word and your name will live forever.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

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Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

Outstanding concepts all through this article, I just included this to my Rss feed. What would you advise regarding your posting that you created several days ago?

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

I am not young enough to know everything.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do — whether it is correct or not.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Aloha!

Aloha!

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.

We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

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The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

its definitely really difficult good finance interest rates on savings in these days. the banks are generally not presenting great rates

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.

I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

If absolute power corrupts absolutely, where does that leave God?

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

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I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.

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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

Keep up the post, haven't seen a lot new on your blog lately.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

The internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes!

Object-oriented programming is an exceptionally bad idea which could only have originated in California.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.

Verify you'll get the best finance interest rates when you are opening up a checking account

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it

If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

Aloha!

True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.

Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

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Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.

A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

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Give a man rope enough and he will hang himself

"Friends" The One with the Boobies

If there’s one thing I know it’s God does love a good joke.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It's pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

If quantum physics doesn't confuse you then you don't understand it.

If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

Hello!

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said 'You've been promoted'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I Said 'I careered off the road.'

The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.

If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

Business before pleasure

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

с
16 апр 2007 Как именно код способствует развитию ожирения, ученые пока не соавторов исследования Эндрю Хаттерсли из Полуостровной медицинской школы.
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The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.

Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.

Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official...

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.

The devil finds work for idle hands to do

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family too.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Finders keepers, losers weepers

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air — however slight — lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.

Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Hello!

Hello!

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

There is a country in Europe where multiple-choice tests are illegal.

[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.

Why don't you write books people can read?

Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'

Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

The trouble with the Internet is that it's replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.

If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.

This website is the greatest blog site. srgkuvio

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

We have art to save ourselves from the truth.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You'd be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.

Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I love this blog, I found it on Google and I think I will come back one day, it very interesting for me. Thanks

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.

Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can't get zillions of people to misunderstand it.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

The full use of your powers along lines of excellence.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.

Devlin's First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin's Second Law - So can PowerPoint.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

This website is the top rated web portal. hamcwgbn

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

I criticize by creation - not by finding fault.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.

A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

The truth is more important than the facts.

The truth is more important than the facts.

I adore that blog layout ! How do you make it? It's really cool.

We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.

Happiness is good health and a bad memory.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

I've never seen anyone change his mind because of the power of a superior argument or the acquisition of new facts. But I've seen plenty of people change behavior to avoid being mocked.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

When you've seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.

We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?

Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

The truth is more important than the facts.

The truth is more important than the facts.

The truth is more important than the facts.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

I think 'Hail to the Chief' has a nice ring to it.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

TV is called a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.